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‘Mutiny’ Review: Jason Statham’s ‘Die Hard on a Boat’ Gets a Sea Minus

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Nobody watches Jason Statham movies for their complexity. (And nobody responded to that statement with “What about ‘Revolver?’”, which proves my point.) It’s not a bad thing. It’s the beauty of Cinema Statham. His films are old-fashioned, satisfying, guileless uppercuts. Take one Jason Statham, toss in some bad guys, give him something to fight for and get out of the damn way. Statham’s movies aren’t always amazing, but they’re usually efficient little barnburners, you gotta give him that.

His latest, “Mutiny,” directed by Jean-François Richet (“Plane”), is a simple film about Jason Statham kicking ass on a boat. Or at least, it should be. “Mutiny,” which doesn’t technically have a mutiny in it, takes the scenic route to its high seas hijinks, by way of a different Statham movie which takes place in bored rooms — sorry, I mean “boardrooms.” It’s as like something went awry in the development phase and the first act of another, unrelated, bland action movie accidentally got collated wrong. I guess nobody noticed because Statham’s movies bleed together anyway.

Granted, that’s not complexity, but it sure as heck isn’t efficient and “Mutiny” suffers for it. Richet’s film spends so much time introducing a world of corporate espionage and melodramatic betrayal that it doesn’t even make sense when Statham gets on a boat. I repeat, the boat is the least convincing part of “Jason Statham on a Boat.” 

Statham plays a bodyguard named [spins the wheel of steely one-syllable names] Cole Reed, who works for a shipping magnate, Tibu Campallo (Ramon Tikaram). Tibu treats Cole like a son, he respects him more than his actual son. On the night Tibu’s scheduled to sell his company, he is assassinated in the middle of the street, and Cole immediately kills all the bad guys. Then he finds out one of the rando mercenary killers worked on a boat, so Cole gets on the boat, because he assumes the captain of the boat must be the mastermind behind the murder. 

It never occurs to Cole that this guy probably doesn’t kill shipping magnates full-time, and might simply have another gig. Instead, Cole assumes this extremely circumstantial, anecdotal evidence means he needs to immediately get on a shipping freighter and investigate. Which makes you wonder: If he was wrong, what was the plan? To putter around the boat for a few months while the real conspirators got away? Or was he going to leap over the side and swim halfway back across the Pacific if his gut instinct was wrong? 

Oh, who am I kidding? Jason Statham is never wrong, except for the time he thought “Face/Off” was a documentary. It turns out the captain of this freighter, Marko Madsen (Roland Møller), has been operating a human trafficking ring under the company’s nose. And on a related note, see? Even evil-doers have side hustles these days. The economy really is that bad.

Annabelle Wallis co-stars as Angie Ellis, a sailor randomly assigned to Madsen’s boat at the last minute who uncovers the conspiracy on her own. As soon as she teams up with Cole she takes a bit of a backseat, which is disappointing because the story of “Mutiny” would probably have been more interesting — and more efficient — if Cole wasn’t in it. The crime would’ve been exposed anyway, by a hero who didn’t need half an hour of unrelated set up just to get on a boat in the first place, and who isn’t an unstoppable, emotionally unavailable killing machine. Wouldn’t that be a novelty?

That’s not to say there’s anything wrong with movies about unstoppable, emotionally unavailable killing machines. (Well, except for the obvious.) They represent a significant percentage of all action movies, good and bad. And also slasher movies, but I digress. The point is, if you present the audience with a more interesting direction, and then you don’t go there, you can’t blame us for wishing you’d taken the road less traveled. Especially when that road wouldn’t have thirty extra minutes of padding.

Once Statham gets to the boat, “Mutiny” picks up. From then on it’s a simple, effective thriller with satisfactory action and an almost refreshingly mundane climax. Many action movies move heaven and earth to juice up the stakes and build to a comically oversized explosion at the last minute. “Mutiny” chugs along at a more natural pace, with Statham and Wallis whittling down the crew until there’s no one left and then going “aw, raspberries” when more bad guys show up when they thought they were done. No helicopter chase, no nuclear launch codes, just good guys and bad guys duking it out for our amusement.

“Mutiny’s” wonky structure is its biggest problem. The hero’s thin motivation for getting on a boat, which is important if you’re doing “Die Hard on a Boat,” is the second biggest. A subpar villain comes in third, but it’s a close third. Roland Møller’s character is too undeveloped to make any impression. He doesn’t get to have fun. He doesn’t get to reveal anything about his life or personality. He doesn’t even prove he’d be Statham’s equal in the action department. By the time the hero and villain are finally — finally — fighting to the death, it’s hard to get worked up about it. 

I suppose it may be hard, or inconsequential, to tell the difference between a good Jason Statham movie and a bad Jason Statham movie. Let’s face it, if the filmmakers hit either extreme they’ll also hit pay dirt. A good movie makes an impression and a bad movie makes an impression, but a mediocre movie is forgotten. “Mutiny” is mediocre in an interesting way. If only that was the same as being interesting. Or exciting. Or even ridiculous. 

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Dolly All The Time Movie In Works At Sony 3000; Gemma Burgess To Write

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EXCLUSIVE: In a competitive situation, Sony’s 3000 Pictures has acquired the bestselling hot summer novel Dolly All the TimeGemma Burgess will adapt the novel by Annabel Monaghan, and Temple Hill Entertainment is set to produce with Annika Patton overseeing it for the producer.

Dolly All the Time came out at the beginning of the summer and quickly hit the bestseller lists. Dolly Brick has never met a problem she couldn’t solve. Not when her mom left when she was 12, and not at 39 when she moves with her son back to Whitfield, RI for the summer to keep her dad and brother from losing the family home.

So when she comes across Stewart Whitfield — annoyingly handsome scion of the Whitfield family — with a flat tire and at the wrong end of a very public  breakup, it’s in her nature to help. She comes away with an offer he suggests, which has her posing as his girlfriend. It ends up being more than either of them bargained for, because as public dinners and high society benefits turn into sunset boat rides and kisses, real sparks commence.

Deal has an uplifting backstory for the screenwriter Burgess, about handling adversity and writing yourself out of a jam. Burgess moved to the UK to be showrunner for My Lady Jane, the show she created for Amazon. Shortly after she moved her family to join her for a second season, Amazon canceled the show, despite superb reviews.

She stayed on the other side of the pond, and hustled. It has paid off. Burgess is currently adapting the K-drama phenomenon Crash Landing on You for Netflix and Skydance; she is adapting her short story Doomed as a series for Netflix with Busy B producing; she also created the series Smooth Criminals with Disney/20th and Drew Goddard; she’s got Liars for Searchlight; and Friends Like These for A24 and Gloria Sanchez. On the feature side, Burgess just finished writing Red, White & Royal Blue 2 for Amazon. She also continues to write novels (she’s had five of them published with Macmillan and Harper Collins that hit the bestseller lists). She is repped by UTA, Kaplan / Perrone Entertainment and Felker McGinnis & Ryan.

Sony-based Elizabeth Gabler’s 3000 Pictures and Marty Bowen and Wyck Godfrey’s Temple Hill have had great success turning books into movies. For 3000, that includes Where the Crawdads Sing and People We Meet on Vacation, the latter an adaptation of the Emily Henry novel that is Emmy-nominated. Upcoming is Kazuo Ishiguro’s Klara and the Sun directed by Taika Waititi and starring Jenna Ortega. 

Temple Hill’s book adaptations range from The Twilight Saga to The Maze Runner and The Fault in Our Stars. 3000 Pictures and Temple Hull previously teamed on The Fault in Our StarsPaper TownsThe Longest RideThe Hate U Give, and Love, Simon.  

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Felicia Day’s ‘The Guild’ Reunion Movie Sets Crowdfunding Record

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It looks like Felicia Day’s “The Guild” reunion movie will not only get made, but it’ll also make history in the process. As of Thursday morning, the film became the highest crowdfunded movie ever, breaking the record “Veronica Mars” set more than a decade ago.

The Kickstarter campaign has raised $5,770,628 and was still climbing as of publication. The 2014 “Veronica Mars” film previously set the record in 2013, raising $5,702,153 to get made.

“The Guild” began as a web series in 2007, and ran until 2013. The story followed the lives of an online gamers guild, The Knights of Good, who play hours and hours of a game simply referred to as ‘The Game.’ It largely focused on Codex, the guild’s healer, as she works on a gaming addiction.

The movie is set to be called “The Guild: Ren Faire’d,” and will reunite the fan-favorite characters as they take on an adventure at a Renaissance Faire.

“When I realized the show’s 20th anniversary was coming up in 2027, I knew I needed to do something big to celebrate,” Day explained in a post on the Kickstarter’s page. “My times with the cast during Covid, when we were murdering each other over and over in Among Us, reminded me of all the fun we’d had together. But it wasn’t until someone evoked rage in my heart that I decided to make a reunion movie.”

Said rage was sparked by a Hollywood executive who called Day to discuss turning the show into a TV series, but recasting everyone with younger actors.

“They wanted to recast me in my own show. And in that moment I knew I had to bring the cast together again and make a reunion movie,” she detailed. “Fund it by going straight to the community that helped us defy the system over and over for nearly twenty years. So we could laugh together again. Celebrate gamers and geeks again. And do it OUR way.”

The Kickstarter was set to run for 40 days, but its goal was met well before that. And there’s still more than a day to go.

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‘DAU’ Director Defends Film After Ukraine Backlash

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Director Ilya Khrzhanovsky is defending his upcoming film DAU against attacks by the government of Ukraine that it represents Russian propaganda and should not be screened at the Venice Film Festival next month.

Khrzhanovsky took to Facebook on Thursday to post a point-by-point rebuttal of the criticism of his film and claims linking him, the film’s financiers, and DAU actor Teodor Currentzis to Vladimir Putin’s Russia.

DAU is not a Russian film and does not represent Russia at the Venice Film Festival,” Khrzhanovsky writes, noting that he is “not a citizen of the Russian Federation” having renounced his Russian citizenship “in protest against the state policy of the Russian Federation and its war against Ukraine.”

His film, Khrzhanovsky said, “is not an instrument of Russian state cultural policy. It is an artistic statement about the nature of totalitarian evil.”

The 3-hour DAU film is the latest in a series of movies, art installations and video projects created by Khrzhanovsky using material filmed over three years from 2008 to 2011 on a closed set in Kharkiv, Ukraine.

Earlier this week, the Ukraine Ministry of Foreign Affairs, the Ministry of Culture, and the Ukrainian Embassy in Italy issued a joint statement criticizing the Venice festival for including DAU in its line-up.

“At the time when Russia is continuing its war of aggression against Ukraine, systematically destroying cities, cultural heritage and national identity,” the statement reads, “offering one of the world’s most prestigious cultural platforms to a project linked to the Russian state and its networks of influence sends a deeply worrying signal.”

The statement goes on to list the film’s alleged connections to Putin’s Russia, including Khrzhanovsky’s citizenship, and that of DAU lead actor Teodor Currentzis, and its connection to Sergei Adoniev, a Russian business man who has been sanctioned by Ukraine and the U.S.

Venice Film Festival artistic director Alberto Barbera took to Instagram on Wednesday to clap back at those allegations and to defend his decision to include DAU at this year’s festival. In his post, Barbera describes Khrzhanovsky as “a Russian dissident who ended up on the regime’s blacklist as a terrorist and enemy of the state — a director who, from the very beginning, has taken a stand against the Russian invasion of Ukraine”. He called the attacks on DAU an “inexplicable smear campaign against a film that its accusers have evidently not even seen yet.”

The DAU project, initially conceived as a biopic of the Nobel Prize-winning Soviet scientist Lev Landau (nicknamed Dau), became a massive immersive installation. Hundreds of cast members, actors and non-actors, lived on the closed set, in costume and in character, isolated from the outside world during filming. From the hundreds of hours of footage shot, Khrzhanovsky has produced several feature films. DAU. Natasha, screened at the Berlin Film Festival in 2020, winning a Silver Bear for outstanding artistic contribution for cinematographer Jürgen Jürges.

In his Facebook post, Khrzhanovsky refutes or qualifies the various accusations made against him and his film. Adoniev, he says, was a financier of the broader artistic 𝘋𝘈𝘜 project but “his financing ended completely in 2019 and he has had no financial relationship with the project since then. He did not finance the completion of the film selected for the competition of the Venice Film Festival.” Adoniev’s involvement, the director adds, was prior to his being sanctioned by the U.S. or Ukraine government.

The filming of the DAU project in Ukraine, writes Khrzhanovsky, took place before the Russian invasion of the country. His own position on Russia’s war against Ukraine “has been and remains unequivocal,” he writes. “I publicly supported Ukraine long before the full-scale invasion. Following the annexation of Crimea in March 2014, I signed an open letter by Russian filmmakers in support of Ukraine.”

A stickier point is DAU lead actor Theodor Currentzis. A well-known Greek conductor, Currentzis took on Russian citizenship in 2014. Currentzis has never publicly supported Russia’s war against Ukraine, but he has not publicly condemned it either.

“However one may judge his decision not to make such statements [against the war], judging a person on the basis of the citizenship they hold — and, even more so, using citizenship acquired years after most of the filming as evidence of the film’s current connection to the Russian state — is not justified,” writes Khrzhanovsky.

Given what he characterized as his long and enduring support for Ukraine, Khrzhanovsky said the attempt to frame him and his film as supporting the Russian state or its war against Ukraine was “especially painful for me.” He said he understood the need, “during wartime, to scrutinize the sources of financing of cultural projects, political connections, and possible instruments of Russian influence. [But] that is precisely why standards of factual accuracy must be particularly high.”

His movie, he said, “should not be prematurely judged on the basis of false associations, distorted chronology, or assumptions that contradict the documented history of the project. I have been and remain opposed to Russia’s war against Ukraine and to the political system that made this war possible.
Opposing totalitarianism also means defending factual truth.”

DAU will screen in competition at the 2026 Venice Film Festival, which runs Sept. 2-12.

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