As I always like to say, some see the glass as half empty, some as half full. I don’t even see the glass. Welcome to the seventh annual Hater’s Ball, where I make you wish you didn’t draft anyone. Admittedly, I don’t view life through a rose-colored lens, so if you want me to say something positive, you’ll often have to settle for two negative statements. But it’s important to consider the downside of each player so we can objectively decide as quickly as possible if a slow start is just random noise or an indication of things being more permanently sideways.
If you prefer to bask in the land of sunshine and rainbows, Gary Davenport invites you to the Lover’s Ball, his optimistic take on all the players below.
Picks are in order of consensus of FantasyPros ADP as of Wednesday, Aug. 26.
The hater’s top 50
1. Jahmyr Gibbs, DET, RB
How could I possibly find anything negative to say about the offensive mastermind behind the Cardinals and Browns over the past six seasons being handed the keys to the offense of our No. 1 overall draft pick?
2. Bijan Robinson, ATL, RB
If the quarterback drives the offense, that means the Falcons are heading straight into the ditch no matter which banged up lefty signal-caller they choose.
3. Ja’Marr Chase, CIN, WR
Chase has been remarkably inefficient — 7.9 yards per target with Joe Burrow last year, exactly the NFL average. And Burrow, when healthy, has a 7.1 YPA the past three years (21st among QBs). Yet we view this Cincy passing game as some juggernaut — it’s really a jugger-not.
4. Puka Nacua, LAR, WR
You have to be well-versed in suspension rules when you roster Nacua. We’ll see if the NFL does anything with the various off-the-field allegations hanging over his head. And then, of course, he could just keep walking into glass doors. Speaking of which, the end zone seems to have a glass door protecting it from Nacua (a TD every 22.7 catches vs. WR average of 12.8).
5. Christian McCaffrey, SF, RB
So the theory of the case is you don’t have to actually be good to be the top-scoring RB, you just need the head coach to give you the usage you’d expect a dad to give his child. CMC was eighth percentile in yards over expected per carry and 23rd percentile in yards after contact per carry.
6. Jaxon Smith-Njigba, SEA, WR
The last time we had a one-man passing offense like JSN in Seattle in 2025 (44% of passing yards) was Brandon Marshall in 2012 (45.7%). The next year, Marshall dropped down to 30%. I will give the market credit for pricing this regression in.
7. Jonathan Taylor, IND, RB
Most great rushing TD seasons like Taylor’s in 2025 regress the next year, but Taylor got a head start on that by regressing in the second half of 2025 (just three of his 18 TDs). To draft Taylor, you have to believe that Daniel Jones is capable of leading a top-10 offense coming off his torn Achilles injury.
8. Amon-Ra St. Brown, DET, WR
My grandmother used to tell me when I complained about being bored that, “There are no boring things, only boring people.” Drafting St. Brown seems boring. It’s like investing in an index fund.
9. James Cook, BUF, RB
Okay, so he’s off the field nearly over 40% of the time. Snaps? We don’t need no stinkin’ snaps! He’s also tallied fewer goal-line TDs (11) the past two years than his QB (13). As long as the Bills get a league-leading 11 more goal-line TD runs than the median again, we’re good.
10. CeeDee Lamb, DAL, WR
Who cares if he’s not as good as George Pickens. We only need Dallas to refuse to acknowledge this. And their front office is not exactly the Algonquin Round Table.
11. Saquon Barkley, PHI, RB
Now that he got all that regression out of the way, we only have to worry about the age-29 RB production cliff. But at least Barkley never gets the layups on the goal line to paper this over.
12. Justin Jefferson, MIN, WR
“His quarterback now is bad, but not THAT bad!” That’s what Jefferson drafters shout from their slippery slopes. Kudos to the Vikings for rostering three known garbage QBs.
13. De’Von Achane, MIA, RB
Teams with the projected wins total (or less) that the oddsmakers predict for the Dolphins this season have averaged 1,654 rushing yards this century. Last year, Achane had 66% of Miami rushing yards. The prior two years, it was 50% per game he played. So he should get between 827 and 1,091 rushing yards if he stays healthy. He’s also on a team expected to have the least passing attempts this season.
14. Chase Brown, CIN, RB
He was 10th among backs in touches in 2025 and isn’t a very efficient rusher (4.3 career yards per rush) or receiver (5.7 career yards per target), so why is he RB8? Also, Brown averages a rushing TD every 39 carries.
15. Kenneth Walker, KC, RB
Forget bell cow, Walker is not even a bell calf. He averages 238 touches per year. The market is paying for 300+. He’s also already hurt (foot). But it’s not really an injury; his foot is hurting from wearing shoes. I feel so much better!
16. Omarion Hampton, LAC, RB
The Chargers are always “Chargering,” with yet another season-ending injury to a key lineman. People are seriously questioning whether they’re cursed. Also, new OC Mike McDaniel says he has a three-headed committee and will go with the “hot hand.”
17. Derrick Henry, BAL, RB
His managers are betting Henry is not human. The other top-10 RBs among those age-31+ (excluding Tiki Barber, who retired after his age 31 season) averaged 268.2 PPR points. At age 32, they averaged 155.3 points. If Henry (279.5 points) declines at the same rate, he’ll finish 2026 with 161.8 points. Hopefully we’ll get them all front-loaded before the injury.
18. Drake London, ATL, WR
The splits with Michael Penix are fantastic, but Penix has a bum knee and Tua Tagovailoa looms. The Falcons may decide Penix is just too scatter-armed (27th in on-target rate).
19. A.J. Brown, NE, WR
Brown’s knee is either fine or “a ticking time bomb” that caused a decline in athleticism last year and reportedly derailed trade talks with the Rams.
20. Ashton Jeanty, LV, RB
So the Raiders still can’t pass block, but the run blocking for Jeanty will improve by leaps and bounds? It’s not a safe space for Fernando Mendoza, but it’s wheels up for Jeanty?
21. Nico Collins, HOU, WR
We aren’t wondering “if” Collins will miss games — just “how many.” Then there’s the question of how many passes C.J. Stroud will be allowed to throw. The answer, I fear, is not many.
22. Josh Allen, BUF, QB
Someone is going to rise from the middle class and into the top-five scoring QBs. That wipes out all the advantages that the Allen manager, too timid to accept the challenge of finding surplus QB value, paid so dearly to secure.
23. Brock Bowers, LV, TE
We’re drafting two Las Vegas skill players in the top 25 when the offensive line still can’t block and the organization apparently considers it so radioactive that they plan to have the No. 1 overall pick sit indefinitely. And we’re excited about this?
24. George Pickens, DAL, WR
Last year, in the 14 games where Pickens and Lamb were both on the field, Pickens averaged 12.6 points per game, according to TruMedia. That’s WR23 last year, not WR10 where he’s being drafted.
25. Trey McBride, ARI, TE
Garbage-time McBride scored 57 PPR points in the fourth-quarter down multiple scores, 25 more than the next highest tight end (Brock Bowers).
26. Malik Nabers, NYG, WR
If we expect the typical 30% decline in production the first year back from an ACL injury, Nabers will average 12.2 PPR PPG, which was WR32 last year. (I rank him WR27 because I’m such an optimist.)
27. Kyren Williams, LAR, RB
Blake Corum was the better runner last year — No. 1 in the league in expected points added per carry. And before you say it, the Rams had the second-fewest passing PPR points to RBs in 2025, so Williams isn’t producing in the passing game, either.
28. Chris Olave, NO, WR
He had one less touchdown in 16 games last year than in his first 39 previous. Either Tyler Shough is great or this is a massive outlier. Which is more likely?
29. Rashee Rice, KC, WR
The 26-year-old Rice has 66-year-old knees, which he had to rehab in jail after his most recent knee surgery.
30. DeVonta Smith, PHI, WR
Here’s my think piece on DeVonta: a mid-level receiver struggling with his own limitations in the harsh face of stardom. “Skinny Batman,” as he’s called, has always been a Robin.
31. Jeremiyah Love, ARI, RB
Love was so explosive in his quasi-committee role in college (16.6 carries per game) that the Cardinals probably think less is more. They tried more in the preseason and Love ended up on the shelf for a month.
32. Javonte Williams, DAL, RB
Did he run out of gas last year or simply regress to the runner he had been previously? The final nine games, he averaged 4.3 yards per carry, after averaging 5.3 for the first seven games. Given his career, his 287 touches last year are likely the most he can handle — and he didn’t handle them well.
33. Josh Jacobs, GB, RB
Another suspension watch-list player. What are the rules? Who knows. He’s the falling knife someone will try to catch in every league, playing behind one of the league’s worst-rated lines. Oh, he’s also fought a groin injury for weeks.
34. Tee Higgins, CIN, WR
Hopefully his usual 2-5 game absence will line up perfectly with Joe Burrow’s 2-5 game absence. That’s the difference between Higgins being a mild or a major disappointment.
35. Breece Hall, NYJ, RB
OK, he doesn’t get the goal-line touchdowns, but the Jets are never even on the goal line, so who’s laughing now, smarty pants?
36. Zay Flowers, BAL, WR
He went 12 straight weeks without a touchdown. Our fantasy season is 13-14 weeks long. Playoffs? You have a WR who didn’t score a TD 12 weeks in a row and you’re talking playoffs? Are you kidding me?
37. Lamar Jackson, BAL, QB
We always said he ran like a running back, so why shouldn’t his running age like one? Instead of an age-29 collapse, his rushing cliff hit at age 28.
38. Ladd McConkey, LAC, WR
McConkey had seven games with 40 or fewer yards. That’s one more than Quentin Johnston had. McConkey has a very low floor and also a very low ceiling (zero 25-point PPR games in ‘25).
39. Tetairoa McMillan, CAR, WR
If we could give Bryce Young 3 inches of McMillan’s height so the quarterback could squeak over the 6-foot bar, this duo could really cook.
40. Emeka Egbuka, TB, WR
After Week 4, it was like Thanos snapped his fingers and turned Egbuka into ash. “But it was an injury,” you say. Well, he has a head start in that regard this year with a turf toe that’s likely to linger all year.
41. Jaylen Waddle, DEN, WR
He’s now apparently the king of the Denver kingdom, say the sharps. By the way, guess who is second in the NFL with 24 games with a touchdown the past three years — just two behind Amon-Ra St. Brown? Yes, that would be Courtland Sutton, who goes three rounds after Waddle.
42. Travis Etienne, NO, RB
In his final 13 games last year, Etienne averaged 3.7 yards per carry and was salvaged by receiving touchdowns, and we know those are not predictive for RBs.
43. Colston Loveland, CHI, TE
He has a ton of target competition. Plus, he plays for a coach who wants to be 50% run in every situation and thus refuses to really lean on his passing game and best weapons.
44. Garrett Wilson, NYJ, WR
There’s always an excuse for Wilson to not rise above his environment and actually produce, which is what I thought franchise WRs are supposed to do.
45. Cam Skattebo, NYG, RB
When he’s not doing backflips on his repaired leg at baseball card shows, he’s making teammates furious by wiping out defenders in non-contact drills. On the field, I’m getting Peyton Hillis vibes.
46. D’Andre Swift, CHI, RB
Last year, insiders questioned Swift’s toughness. The good news is those same insiders hated all the other Bears backs, too.
47. David Montgomery, HOU, RB
He’s finally getting his chance! Unfortunately, it’s coming just as he’s aging out of relevance at 29, the cliff year for running backs.
48. Bucky Irving, TB, RB
Irving went from being the equivalent of a Michelin-starred restaurant as a rookie to a greasy spoon in 2025. He was banged up you say? Well, I guess then as long as he’s completely healthy and not hurting in any way all season as an NFL RB who encounters roughly 300 car-crash equivalents, we’re golden.
49. DJ Moore, BUF, WR
Josh Allen hasn’t thrown more than five TDs to any wide receiver since Stefon Diggs left town. Moore is past his prime and very likely to disappoint.
50. Drake Maye, NE, QB
AKA, “The Schedule.” Well, welcome to the NFL now, kid. I hope it goes better for you than it did in the postseason last year, where you looked like they pulled you out of the stands to play five minutes before kickoff.
