One lucky Akron football season-ticket holder will get to call plays for the opening drive of a college football game. Really. Sort of. Which is a nice reminder of why we love this dumb sport.

It’s a pure publicity stunt. Old-school, huckster carnival barking.

On Aug. 4, the Akron Zips football program announced a promotion in which every season-ticket holder is entered into a raffle; the top prize is the chance to script play calls for the first offensive possession of Akron’s home opener against Robert Morris on Sept. 12. The winner, announced on Aug. 19, will get to spend two days hanging around practice and team meetings ahead of the game and consult head coach Joe Moorhead on the first 10-15 plays. The school dubbed it “Offensive Coordinator of the Game.”

Make history and be the lucky season ticket holder to design the opening drive of the home opener when @ZipsFB hosts Robert Morris‼️

🗞️https://t.co/G5aTUlVpzT#GoZips🦘#MakeTheClimb pic.twitter.com/Qzu1w0R29O

— Akron Football (@ZipsFB) August 4, 2026

Akron’s athletic director hatched the idea. A briefly reluctant Moorhead — once an SEC head coach at Mississippi State and offensive coordinator at Oregon — warmed up to and ultimately encouraged it. Brainstorming ways to generate excitement and ticket sales for a traditionally disappointing football program will turn a Zips fan’s armchair quarterback dreams into reality. Or it might not even be a Zips fan. The promotion’s spawned enough broader interest that the winner could be a Robert Morris troll or podcast host.

Either way, it worked. It’s early August, only weeks away from kicking off the season, and college football diehards are talking about Akron.

It’s why college football is special.

For such a buzzy promotion, it’s pretty low stakes. Robert Morris is an FCS opponent, and Akron itself is a humble Mid-American Conference squad, one most fans only watch in midweek MACtion or blowout losses against the Big Ten. Moorhead promised he won’t “let the circus roll into town” and will retain final say over the actual play calls. Akron is simply selling the experience. The sizzle.

But it’s not zero stakes, either. The Zips have one of the smallest annual football budgets in FBS, yet it is still about $8 million. While that may pale in comparison to Ohio State pouring more than $100 million into football this season just two hours down the road, it’s a significant line item for a public university. Plenty of jobs and livelihoods are at stake within the Akron football program, and it’s still electing to pass the sticks to Joe Sports Fan for a few plays.

That quirky fanaticism could only exist in this sport. The NFL and its professional counterparts would never allow it. Minor league baseball does it all the time, but no one actually cares about the wins and losses. College football is wonky enough to go for it and prominent enough for it to resonate. The Zips haven’t been to a bowl game in 10 years. They had a winless season more recently than a winning one. It had to try something different to get butts in seats. Still, a week after the Robert Morris game, the same Zips will play at Minnesota, a Big Ten squad with College Football Playoff sleeper potential. The sport really does contain multitudes.

“Once the shock value wore away and we discussed some benefits, now you see (the promotion) spoke for itself,” Moorhead told The Athletic.

It also comes at a welcome moment in the sport’s trajectory, when a bunch of not-so-fun nonsense is dragging things down. So much attention on college football is fixated off the field, or on an increasingly uncertain future. Congressional legislation and eligibility lawsuits. Transfer portal tampering. A head coach leaving his team in the midst of a Playoff run. Needless CFP expansion debates and Super League chatter.

Then suddenly, the very same sport that takes itself too seriously reminds us that the fun, dumb stuff is what we love about it. An anthropomorphic Pop-Tart toasting itself. A winning coach getting dunked with a tub of Duke’s mayo. Pitbull partnering with FIU. Turnover chainsaws in Corvallis, the Sooner Schooner in Norman and Jump Around in Madison.

Akron gave us a nice pop of flavor to cut through the glut of court battles.

A one-off Akron football promotion won’t solve all of college football’s issues. The sport’s future remains murky. But at 3:30 p.m. ET on Saturday, Sept. 12, the Zips play the Colonials on ESPN+. I’ll be watching.